“Your strengthened intuition is the greatest defense against a manipulative person. It is a skill that can never be exploited—and once learned, it will serve you a lifetime.” Jackson MacKenzie, Psychopath Free
You’re here for a reason beyond an extended invitation. Maybe you’re a loving and supportive friend or member of my family. Perhaps you’re a survivor yourself, just starting to put all the pieces together as to the upheaval and bewilderment you just experienced in your own emotional and/or physically abusive relationship, and you’re starving for answers, just as I am. If you’re really lucky, you’ve come at the right time and are finding this information BEFORE you get involved with an abusive partner. Could be, you’re a Flying Monkey. Don’t worry; we’re going to define that, and many other terms in regards to Psychopaths, Sociopaths, and Narcissists, as we go along. **not all abusers fall into these personality disorders, but these accounts will focus on these specifically and primarily.
I must warn you, I’m learning. I’m just coming out of the thralls of a relationship with a man whom I believe to be a Narcissistic Psychopath (I am not a doctor and cannot “diagnose” anyone, but I do urge you to read along and decide for yourself). I myself am both full of questions and widely awakened with a newfound knowledge of these Cluster-B personality disorders, and the detrimental and lasting effect they have on those in their wake. This account of my experiences, with him and the other narcs in my life, will be raw and uninhibited.
Unfortunately, one of the many skills these toxic people possess is the ability to charm and manipulate, and as they once charmed you, they will charm and manipulate those in your life to see you as the abuser and themselves as the victim. After all, they’d already convinced you they themselves are the perpetual victim (was every ex “bipolar” or “crazy” or “madly in love” with them, were they abused by their parents, treated unfairly by every employer, victims to the legal system or the government?). Most likely you’ve hidden the truth of abuse in your relationship from everyone around you to protect this person you believed to love and the relationship you had faith in, and now that you’re free, you find yourself alone and under the scrutiny of those whom your narc turned against you. As many of you will one day as well, I’ve decided to share my story, and the truth, regardless.
Terms like “psychopath,” “sociopath,” and “narcissist” have been tossed around so frivolously that few people truly know their meaning. We’ve come to think that a psychopath is a crazy mass-murderer, a sociopath is a stoic being, and a narcissist is someone who enjoys their own reflection more than most. We either take these terms so lightly that we freely spew them at anyone, or we think they are so grandiose that we don’t encounter these people “in real life.” PSYCHOPATHIC AND SOCIOPATHIC NARCISSISTS ARE EVERYWHERE, AND THEY ARE DANGEROUS. They are skilled predators and con artists, and one doesn’t likely even realize their spouse, parent, pastor at church, or friend from elementary school is such until they’ve been targeted and victimized. Even then, because a narc’s primary goal is to manipulate and emotionally harm their targets while projecting all of the blame onto the victim, they go undefined as the empathic victim harbors all accountability for the failed relationship. As many do, I’ve found that I’ve had several of these relationships throughout my life, and have set out to stop the pattern. I’m the common denominator in them all, and not only have attracted people with these personality disorders, something has attracted me to THEM.
I am determined to BE NARC FREE from here on out. It’s an emotionally and spiritually enlightening journey, often lonely, yet completely purifying. The light that has been extinguished over time grows brighter each day and yours can and will also. Please, come along.